Vaporback Writer

Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Ghost of Republicans Past

I was driving down the road yesterday, just passing the Piranha Bar, when I saw something on the side of the road that scared the hell out of me. I glanced toward the shoulder and caught a glimpse of one of those election campaign signs that clutter up the roadsides this time of year. I can normally drive past them without even seeing them, but this one was different. It was your standard sort of red and blue cardboard rectangle decorated with white lettering, but in the split second it took me to glance at it, the name “Reagan” flashed before my eyes. And then it was gone.

WTF???? Reagan??? Isn’t he dead?

I, of course, am not the sort of person who celebrates another human being’s death—not even a Republican’s. I would never do that. But last year, when we got all that Reagan funeral footage from Washington D.C. and California, I don’t think I was the only one who felt the tiniest bit of relief that the whole Reagan era had come to an irrefutable end. For me, it was the same sort of relief you might feel at the end of a vampire movie when they FINALLY drive the stake through the rancid heart of the demon. The villagers can rest easy in the sure knowledge that the monster will never rise again.

Then, a year later, you glance at the side of the road and see a Reagan campaign sign? What is this, some sort of cheesy horror movie sequel?

And then I remembered. One of his sons lives up here. Was the junior Reagan now pursuing a political career? Did he plan to cut his teeth on local politics before launching onto the national scene? It was making me terribly jittery. Jittery enough that when I got home, I went on-line to do a bit of research. The current administration has already exhausted my patience with the concept of “Republicans: The Next Generation.” I don’t need any more of that, thank you very much.

Luckily, I discovered that the sign I had seen was for a candidate merely named after Ronald Reagan rather than spawned from him. Reagan was his given named, one that doomed him, I guess, to the pursuit of public office. Phew. That was close.

I’ve seen a few more of these signs, and can now pass by without worrying. They’ve become just another part of the scenery.

But today a different one caught my eye. This one said “Nixon.” No, it can’t be!

But doesn’t one of the Nixon brothers live up this way???

God, I hate election years.